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Ben Trovato

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Archive for the ‘International’ Category

Blue collar workers of the world: do not unite

Blue Collar There is a blue-collar renaissance going on in America right now. But don’t get your hopes up.

Put aside those homoerotic images of buff workers breaking their shackles and rising up, each bearing an American flag and led by Bruce Springsteen singing Badlands all the way to Washington DC.

A renaissance is like a revolution, only more gay. The French Renaissance, for example, was a cultural movement that took place about 600 years ago. The African Renaissance, on the other hand, is more like a constipated bowel movement that has yet to happen. I’m sure things will get moving just as soon as someone discovers how to manufacture democracy in the form of a suppository. Shove one up yer president’s bum and wait an hour for the phone to ring. Odds are it will be the World Bank.

The blue-collar renaissance I’m talking about is an audacious fantasy being propagated by a prole called Joe Lamacchia. He has written a book snappily titled Blue Collar and Proud of It: The All-in-One-Resource for Finding Freedom, Financial Success, and Security Outside of the Cubicle.

Or, put another way, Uneducated and Useless: The Self-Help Guide for Idiots.

Helping the workers while exploiting them at the same time. It’s the American way, God bless him. Joe is a 43-year-old father of five – Catholic, I imagine –who runs his own landscaping business in Newton, Massachusetts. Newton is neighbouring Cambridge’s poor cousin and is home to people who couldn’t get into Harvard but instead got into lots of other things. Crack, for one.

Joe never went to college but was smart enough to write a book and flog it for $15 a pop to people who would be better off spending the money on a bag of crystal meth. At least, with tik you can spend an afternoon fantasising about a better life. Books are rubbish for that sort of thing, especially if they don’t have pictures.

Joe also has his own website featuring this loin-stirring tale: ”The next time you’re sitting at an intersection waiting for the traffic light to turn, look around. From the signs hanging off the storefronts and the jack hammering in the street to the electrical lines running across the road and the UPS driver unloading a delivery, blue-collar America is everywhere. We are the glue that holds the community together, the ones you call when your car breaks, your roads are full of potholes, your faucet is leaking and your grass needs trimming. We are America’s backbone.”

That kind of talk makes me nervous. It sounds like something Che Guevara might have said, had he ever done an honest day’s work, instead of sloping around Havana striking noble poses in the hope of getting his face on a T-shirt.

Listen up, bud. We always make a point of looking around when we’re waiting for the lights to turn. The only difference is we do it so that we aren’t taken by surprise when someone tries to smash the window, rip open the door, drag us into the road, set fire to us and steal the car.

”From the bodies hanging off the storefronts and the carjackers hammering in your head to the copper-stripped electrical lines lying across the road and the heistmeisters unloading their weapons into the security guards, no-collar South Africa is everywhere.”

Book details

  • Blue Collar : The All-In-One Resource for Finding Freedom, Financial Success, and Security Outside the Cubicle by Joe Lamacchia, Bridget Samburg
    EAN: 9780757307782
    Find this book with BOOK Finder!

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