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Ben Trovato

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

Archive for the ‘Feature’ Category

Hillary Clinton’s Africa Tour Highlights

Ben TrovatoHillary & BenFresh from her “Slippery Love” tour of Africa, Hillary “Lil’ Hill” Clinton says she is hoping to take some time out with hubby Bill and then “hit the recording studio”.

“There’s nothing like appearing live in Africa,” said a visibly excited Lil’ Hill, shortly after jetting in to Dulles International Airport from a country whose name she had forgotten. “I love the buzz. The people over there are so energetic. Not the ones who are starving, of course. Those ones don’t have much energy at all. But the rest sure know how to party! Whoo! Some nights I got to bed after 10pm.”

Lil’ Hill played to adoring fans in seven countries over a period of just 11 days. This is thought to be a record for a visiting American performer.

Her predecessor, Condoleezza “Lil’ Turncoat” Rice, preferred touring the Middle East, where she said there was less chance of her being mistaken for an African.

Asked about highlights from her tour, Lil’ Hill giggled, tossing her freshly burnished mane. “They have the most fabulous hairdressers in Nairobi — do you like it?”

She said the two stylists had done a “fabulous job” not only on her hair, but also of converting their shipping container into a fully equipped salon. “I mean they had an extension cable and a padded milk crate for me to sit on.”

She added that the girls had given her a valuable political briefing during the blow-drying phase of the operation. “A lot of what they told me is confidential, but they assured me there was no government corruption and that Nairobi is a fantastic place to raise children.”

She said the aim of her tour was to “look good and learn about Africa” — and that she had found a way of doing both at the same time.

Pressed for details, Lil’ Hill admitted that the stylists she visited in all seven countries were “probably lying through their teeth”. She said the world would be a “terrible place” if every hairdresser started telling the truth.

Given that her tour included several volatile hot spots, Lil’ Hill was asked whether she had experienced any close calls. “I had a very narrow escape in Cape Verde,” she said, referring to her last stopover. “The stylist started putting in braids without me even noticing. Thank God one of my Secret Service boys was paying attention otherwise y’all might have walked right past me thinking I was Whoopi Goldberg!”

Asked about the South African leg of her tour, Lil’ Hill said that even though the crowds had been kept at bay with tear gas, rubber bullets and police dogs, they had been “spectacular”.

“I found the Zulus, in particular, very welcoming. Terrifying but welcoming.”

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