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Ben Trovato

@ Sunday Times Books LIVE

My first encounter with auto eroticism

Many of you have been sending cards, flowers and even boxes of African spitting scorpions in the wake of the brutal murder of my beloved Hyundai.

Thank you for your condolences, but that’s enough now.

For those with benzodiazepine addictions, let me refresh your impaired memory.

Two months ago I took my car to the tyre experts in Fish Hoek to have its wheels balanced ahead of an urgent trip to Durban. They offered to service it as well. Having been repeatedly dropped on my head as a child, I accepted.

To cut a long journey short, the engine blew up before I had even reached the N2.

An industry specialist (not a relative) subsequently found that if the garage had done its job properly, this tragedy could have been averted.

President Zuma is partly responsible for what happened next. He is our role model when it comes to the rejection of culpability under any circumstances and he set the bar pretty damn high in 2009. Or low. Never underestimate the power of denial. It wozzen me. I didden do it. You godda problem? Squeak to my lawyer. Many of our citizens continue to follow his example.

 

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